If you dont have something nice to say...

I'm not sure what sparked my thoughts on the topic today but i cant stop thinking about how i say mean things. I wouldn't go as far as saying that i am a mean person but a lot of times throughout the day i have very rude things about other people pop into my head. If the thoughts just stayed there i would have no complaints, but they don't. They always seem to make it into someones ear, usually as a whisper to a third pary individual that may or may not have been thinking the same thing but just wasnt mean enough to say it outloud. I fear that most of the recipients, however, probably don't know me well enough to understand that I'm not a mean person. This isn't their fault, of course. I mean, they're just making a perfectly justified assumption that i am kind of a rude person. it makes me feel bad.

This is a particularly tender issue because i think that i may have been somewhat of a jerk in my younger years. i was not timid about sharing my opinion and that often entailed me telling someone else that they were...(insert something derogatory). i played off of people's weaknesses and i almost took a certain level of pride in that. Now, i didn't just dish it out all nonchalantly or anything. It was reserved for those who were especially deserving (the kids that picked on kids, the kids that picked on teacher, Trent Meeds, etc). In a way i felt like i was defending more than offending. Once in the moment and all sorts of insulting things were flying out of my mouth, I would savor the moment, trying hard to remember the things said so that i could possibly brag about it later. I didn't feel mean, i felt justified.

Anyway, just writing that makes me sound like the biggest a-hole ever. I'm not sure when it happened (yes i am. it was on my mission) but I guess I realized that being rude, no matter who it is towards, is never really that cool. i am the one that ends up feeling like shiz, not mention the way i look to others (not in a superficial way but in a "i hate looking like an ass" way).

So, I'm setting a goal: Leave the mean thoughts in the brain. lets be serious, saying that my goal is to just stop thinking mean thoughts is impossible. that will come with time, maybe. For now, I'm just going to try and not say them to anyone. i suppose I'll just have to start using some DISCRETION!!! (inside family joke...even though i actually don't think it's funny, for obvious reasons)

A bike with no brakes

I have one, a bike with no brakes that is. It's a 1970s Peugeot that a threw together with my big bro, Big Toph, as he likes to be called. It's a great bike and i love to ride it.

The problem, however, with riding brakeless is that there is an entire culture of tool-folk out there who act like riding a bike with no brakes is the only way to go. They have ridiculous stickers on their bikes that aren't even creative, they're just rude, like "F*ck brakes" and "Ride Brakeless" and "People with brakes can eat my butt"...OK, so maybe i have yet to see any stickers like the Butt one but I'm sure they're out there. I wouldn't care so much if i didn't know for a fact the in the biking world, especially the fixed one, people judge you by your bike, and they judge quickly.

You may be thinking, "why do you care?" i know that i shouldn't, but the bottom line is EVERYBODY hates being judged and thrown in categories where they don't believe they belong. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar. it may be stupid to care but everyone does.

So i have recently fallen in love bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com and am regularly in stitches over his comments. The guy is rude in the best way. On his site, however, he regularly talks about brakeless riders and how they are, well, lame. Many of his followers agree and often comment on how they too hate people who ride brakeless. Even i often agree with distaste for such a rider but i feel i must make my case.

I have riser bars on my bike...so what...i like the look. Nothing more than that. It's color coordinated as well...i like to match. Would you go out to a nice dinner and wear brown shoes with a black belt? i highly doubt it! And yes, i ride without brakes. Even though i feel i don't owe it to anyone I'm going to offer an explanation:

At first, my primary reason for not putting brakes on was financial reasons. I lived in the Avenues in Salt Lake City, up on 6th Ave and L street when i built my bike. For those who are familiar with the avenues can you possibly think of a reason why i wouldn't want brakes on hills like that?!!! NO WAY! but i just didn't have the mula. So i learned how to ride without brakes, slow and steady. The more i rode the more i loved it. I also noticed that my knee issues seemed to be disappearing. it seemed that the constant work that my knees had to perform due to the lack of brakes was strengthening them, causing me less and less discomfort. I feel in love with riding brakeless.

Do i think that people who ride with brakes are lame? No, not even a little. Are there some tools with brakes? Absolutely. Are there tools without brakes? oh yes, many but just cause you don't have them doesn't make you the "Eff off you brake riding mother effers" guy. Brakes dont make you a tool or make you exempt from being a tool. It's just who you are...and some are just tools.

There, I've said my piece. next time you want to judge someone without brakes just take a moment first and think about what you are about to say...unless they have one these


Then judge your little heart out!...(sheesh, aerospoke tools)

A good day

It's done. FELT f75.

Old Navy Pants

Old Navy was having a sale on pretty much everything in the store. I really needed some new casual work pants and figured that this would be the perfect opportunity, seeing as how the pants were only 10 bucks!! whoo-hoo! i found a pair that I really liked and bought them right away. When I shop for pants i usually by the first pair that fits well, no matter what, just because i am so particular about how they fit.

i was surprised when i tried these pants on and they fit so well. nice narrow leg, long and lean, all the qualities that i need in pants. I was happy...until today when i bent over and ripped the pants right up my butt crack!!!

There aren't a lot of times in my life when i feel like a genuine fat ass, but this was one of those times! I am so mad, because i love these pants and i just bought them. The thing that makes me feel some what reassured that my gluteus maximus is in fact NOT too big came with a little bit of inspecting along the tear.

The pants didn't tear at all! they just came undone. I've never hear of that before. And, no, this is not just some kind of excuse that i have made so that i feel better about my rump, the pants really did just fall apart along the butt crack. no wonder they were only 1o bucks!

So now I'm worried that Old Navy wont take my pants back. I'm also worried that after i go in to the store and after i get rejected and leave, one of the employees is going to be like, "What and idiot! Like we were really going to fall for the whole 'they just fell apart' excuse...face it, your butt is too big." jerks

i know my butt isn't big and this entire post makes me sound self conscious, which i am most definitely not! but in the end it is hard to justify a ripped butt crack in your pants.

spring fever

i have never in my entire life been more ready for the spring than i am right now. It might be because Logan is 70 degrees cooler than the rest of the state and i am over the cold but i think it is mostly because i am so ready for warm weather activities! I am buying a bike, like everyone who has spoken to me in the past two weeks knows already, I am signed up for a few summer races, and i have two old cruiser bikes that i cant wait to fix up and cruise around town on with kristen!

I'm to that point where when I'm watching TV, lets say CSI Las Vegas (the only good one) and Grissom is taking samples off some dead guy in the desert, the entire time i am thinking "oh man, i wish i were that dead guy in the desert. it looks so warm!" yeah, i know...he's dead, but the weather just looks so nice that i can't focus on the show! On that same topic, however, i find myself changing the channel the second Law and Order SVU comes on because i just cant bear to see that cold New York weather any longer. I LOVE SVU, but i don't this month, and i wont until it warms up!

So spring, my arms are open and ready to embrace you. Please don't take much longer. i love you